A Space for Children to Call Their Own

I visited an Art room at school yesterday, and I didn't want to leave; it was joyfully cluttered, over-flowing with activity, and it smelled of warm crayons. The Art teacher looked so comfortable in her paint-splattered smock, and she welcomed me with such a big smile, that it made me feel like a child again. 

Our children's lives are far more controlled now; school days start at 7:58am (not 7:59am, or you'll get a tardy slip), they are allowed exactly 1 1/2 minutes to go to the bathroom, and they are driven to sports activities that mandate entire days to practice for a game that is, well, just a game...So, when I walked into this colorful room, it really made me smile.

Don't get me wrong, I know that we all do our best, and we need rules, but we also need permission to be ourselves, at our own pace. The Art room is that place in school; a perfect oasis of mess, in a ridiculously formal environment. 

It's not just about creativity, it's about having the freedom to discover what makes you tick, and not to be controlled all of the time. Children need to figure out who they are in-between the activities. Some crave organization, with straight, printed labels, and a place for everything, while others like to grow a mountain of stuff that crawls towards you when you open the door. Many want their favorite color from top to bottom, and others just want a place to play with toys or listen to music. (Strangely enough, they all seem to know where everything is). 

I am a firm believer in giving children some place to be themselves, and letting them own who they are. And, I think their bedroom is often the easiest place for us to give up control. If I am decorating a child's (or teen) room, my biggest goal is for them to know that it is about them, and I want to create a space that they will love. Here are some ways to do the same thing with your child:

- Pretend to interview them.
- Take notes as they talk, really listen, and try not to judge their answers. 
- Ask them what they love about their room the most.
- What would they get rid of if they could? 
- What is missing? And, why do they want that in their room?
- Ask them to draw, or write, about their most perfect room.

Afterwards, take some time to read over your notes. Decide what you are willing to do, and why/why not? Be as open-minded as you can be. Consider alternatives to what they want. Wait a few days (this shows them that you really do care) and then write your own list.

- Offer solutions eg. more, or less, storage and organization, removing an old piece of furniture, storing childhood toys, creating a wall for posting notes and thoughts, painting everything a different color, getting new curtains, having a more grown-up theme etc). 
- Consider giving them a small budget, and taking them shopping for some new things. Let them  spend it any way they want.
- Don't promise them things you have no intention of doing.
- Plan how, and when, you will both work on the solutions. Schedule a start date.
- Explain what you cannot/won't allow (and why). 

I know this might seem like a lot of work, but if we give them the time, and show them that we really care, they will learn how to embrace who they are, and create a place that they will always love...

Photograph of a Girl on a Swing, by the talented designer, Kate Jackson

The Ick Factor

My kitchen garbage is almost overflowing this morning, but I don't mind. It is tucked away in a vintage cupboard, and no-one can see it. Of course, I will empty it soon, but if I had to look at it, out in the open, I would be mortified. And, I admit, it would cause me a wee bit of stress.

Having a lovely home is personal, and we all have different styles, but no matter how much we love our home, we still have to deal with the ick factor. Sometimes, it's the utilitarian things that distract us the most, creating the biggest impression in the worst kind of way. Sadly, a beautiful room can be quickly undone, if we choose to ignore the things we don't like.

Useful things are the warhorses of our homes; they do so much, work very hard, and we need them.

Garbage Cans and Toilet Brush Holders are two of the worst design offenders. Even the words make us cringe, but every home has them, and just because we don't like them doesn't mean that their ugliness becomes invisible. We all use them, so why not give ourselves another excuse to decorate, and accept the ick factor on our own terms? Here are three easy ways to get you started.....

• Treat them as an accessory - a decorative feature that goes with your room. Be adventurous in your choice of texture, size, shape etc. Ignore convention in favor of good design.
• Make them invisible - blend them into your home decor. Buy subtle colors (or ones that coordinate with your room) and stay with low profile, classic, simple designs.
• Keep them hidden - store in a cupboard, or under a sink. Losing one cupboard to a garbage can may be worth it to you. 

Think of useful things as just another creative opportunity (or, a reason to go shopping). Either way, here are a few photographs for you to look at (while I go and empty my own garbage.......)

Photographs borrowed from.....
Trash Bucket (Urban Outfitters)  Simply Human Cream Garbage Can (Amazon)
Flower Bucket and Brush (Remodelista)  Red Kitchen Cart (Wayfair)
Wicker Basket (BasketLady)  Under Cabinet (Cliqstudios)
Red and White Striped Can (Sears)  Green Retro (Rayfei)

French Living (in New Jersey)

I am not French, but I do have a tendency to drool over shows that have that “C’est la vie” type of vibe to them. I know it’s not real life, but I find it relaxing, and I love to watch someone take hours to cook a meal (then spend several more hours eating it on a sunny terrace, with lots of wine and seventeen of their closest friends).

After watching too many episodes of “French Cooking at Home”, I decided that I would move to France, have a blue kitchen with copper pots, and grow lots of herbs on the window-sill.

In the meantime, before I got to France, I would pretend; I would pretty up the inside of my refrigerator, find a copper pot, and store my milk in beautiful glass bottles.

At a Home store, I found glass bottles with the work “Milk” on the side. Perfect. I took them home, and poured my milk into it (I can feel you rolling your eyes even as I write it – I know, what was I thinking).

This went well for a few days, until the milk began to sour. I didn’t understand why, so I would pour out the spoiled milk, wash the bottle, then pour new milk back in. It would sour again, and I would repeat the process. When I mentioned this to my Mum, she said that I needed to sterilize the bottle before pouring the milk in. (Why I never thought of this, I don’t know; I just continued to create my own little, repetitive bottle of bacteria – proof that Science really was my worst subject in school. Thankfully, no-one got ill during the process). So, I took her advice, boiled the hot water, poured it in, and the bottle shattered all over the kitchen sink. Undeterred, I did it again. Same result.

Not to be discouraged, a few days later I drove to a fancy store that sells milk in bottles. I found the bottles, picked one up, and cut my hand on the side. As it  trickled down my hand, I tried to grab a band-aid from my purse, while trying to (discreetly) wipe the milk bottle. The more I wiped, the more I cut my hand, and the more it started to make a mess of me and the bottle. The more I panicked, the more ridiculous my whole plan was starting to seem. Why had I driven over an hour to buy a bottle for my milk, so that I could pretend to be French? I wasn’t feeling very relaxed, or very smart, at that moment.

Embarrassed, I managed to get the band-aid on, wiped the bottle on my skirt (of course) and took it to Customer Service. I bought two new ones, and took them home. A little stressed, not very clean, but successful.

The next day, I remembered to be French; I reorganized the fridge, put vegetables in pretty bowls and admired my bottles of milk. Was it a little silly? Maybe. Was it worth it? Yes. The (always sterilized) milk bottles are living happily in my fridge, I now have one herb growing on my windowsill, and I still dream of a blue French kitchen…

Photograph from the delightful Lilla Blanka

Transformations - Fun and/or Functional

Ever see those pieces of furniture that transform into something else? You wonder who made them, and why (or if they really work?). Check out this months newsletter for lots of fun facts you ought to know...
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Kitchen Sink Garden

If anyone ever doubted the power of plants, they should meet one of my best friends. Just when I start to dread the cold Winter days, she always calls to tell me that she has lots of extra flower bulbs to share. Over a cup of tea, we go through them, and she tells me which is which, and how soon they will flower. We talk excitedly about how she ordered too many, and that there is not enough windowsills to put them on, but just the idea of having them makes us both happy. We spend the afternoon together, and I make a mental note to thank her again, and remember how grateful I am to be her friend.

Winter in the North East can be brutal. The skies are gray, and the garden is either covered in snow, or hard, misshapen chunks of mud. We know that Spring will eventually be here, but it is sometimes hard to believe it when we look outside. The bulbs really cheer me up, and are ridiculously easy to grow, but, more importantly, they are a positive sign of life - a green light at the end of a gray tunnel. Don't get me wrong, I do love the change of seasons, but I also miss not being able to enjoy my garden for months on end.

So, what do I do? For one, I make a huge mess in my kitchen sink, and I honestly don't care. We are always so concerned with keeping our houses clean, and doing things properly, that I love grabbing a pile of newspapers, spraying water around, and turning my kitchen into an impromptu potting shed. Frankly, even if I had a lovely bench like the one above, I would still use my kitchen; why not be inside, warm and cozy, while you plant flowers?

By now, the dog has already scratched the floors with wet, snowy paws, and the house is eternally dusty from the heating system, so I just decide to enjoy my time with the dirt. I keep a bucket of potting mix, lots of empty terracotta pots, and a giant spoon nearby for emergency planting (you never know when you may need to pot a plant in a hurry). I play my favorite music, and for an hour or two I plant and prune, and wonder what they will be when they grow up. I move them from window to window, seeing if they need more light, and noticing who blooms first. I save my jam jars, pot up extra bulbs and pass them onto another friend.
Even if you don't love to garden, it's impossible to dislike a plant in the Winter.... 

Gorgeous photograph from www.gardentrading.co.uk