We've Moved! Here's where to find us....

https://www.thebluegiraffe.com/blog

As most of you know, my blog has been a bit absent (I say that kindly :-) over the last couple of years, but now I'm happy to say that it's up and running again. I'm not quite up to posting once a a week, but I'm well on the way - the creative voices are back (I'm never quite sure if that's good or bad ha-ha) and the words and paragraphs have started dancing around again in my head, jostling for some outside attention.

So, with the global integration of certain browsers, and this old blogger app bringing us "exciting updates", which is code for "we're changing the format and deleting many of your favorite blogging features",I've decided to move my blog permanently from here at blogspot to it's own page on the blue giraffe website . This site will remain for the time being, but I've also forwarded my old posts to their new blog home on the blue giraffe website (https://www.thebluegiraffe.com/blog).

In hindsight, this is actually a great change, because it gives me more options, is much easier (and more fun, visually) to scroll through the posts, and it helps us connect all the blue giraffe dots :-)

I've imported the subscriber contact lists, so hopefully the blog will continue appearing in your email in-box - the format's a bit different, but you still just click the link. Finger's crossed the transition is seamless, but if you have any questions, or something doesn't seem to work right, please feel free to email me and we'll figure it out together :-)

Thanks for your patience, and we'll see you in your in-box soon!

- Wendy

The (unexpected) Joy of Polyester!

Like so many of you, the thought of crawling into bed with a pair of freshly-laundered, soft, white cotton sheets at the end of the day makes my heart skip a beat. And, if those dream sheets just happen to be of the particularly indulgent kind, that also boast a high thread-count and exotic beginnings, then you know exactly what I mean. Actually, just writing about them makes my breath pause, then quicken, as I stop and do a mental happy dance in anticipation...

But, the other day I was making the bed, and the current weather had me undecided on which sheets to use. Don't get me wrong, it's not as if I have a linen closet filled with wonderful choices, but when the temperature at night has been going from 90F to 42F in the space of a week, it makes a seemingly dreary task take on some slight measure of importance. Not one to change my sheets very often, I love the blissful results when I do, but never the act itself. 

So, with wacky weather on my mind, and not being quite ready to commit to my favorite, plaid flannel, I grabbed a cheerful, red geometric set that I spied at the bottom of the closet. As soon as I touched them, I remembered why they were sitting, neglected at the bottom, but the saturated colors and fun shapes danced in front of me, and convinced me to give the perky polyester another try. 

As I easily wrapped the fitted sheet around the mattress, I found myself smiling at how pretty it all looked, and how the colors and shapes were still just as perfect as the day I had brought them home. Ridiculously inexpensive, they had been a random purchase (and a small dose of retail therapy) when I needed a quick boost. 

Smoothing the sheets, I marveled at how I didn't have to run from one corner of the bed to the other, doing the crazy diagonal dance, and trying to stretch the unstretchable, as each end ricocheted back on itself as soon as I moved across the room.

I didn't miss the dance at all, and I daren't say that my bed looked like something from a magazine when I was finished, but I will say that I wouldn't have minded one little bit if you'd have popped over that afternoon and felt inclined to take a photograph of it. 

When I went to bed that night, I was once again struck by the beautiful design and gorgeous fit of the sheets, and I can say with complete honesty, that my (perhaps snobbish?) cotton-rich loyalty took a temporary back seat to my pretty, perky, polyester dreams...

Quick Fixes For Every Day Life

Someone asked me recently if I could repost this Quick Decorating Idea List for them again (so that they could print it out and add it to their design inspiration folder). So, just for Dottie, here it is.....

Drawers, Debates and Decluttering

Just in case you didn't know, this week (Thursday, September 12th, 2019) brings us yet another round of scintillating Democratic Presidential Debates...

It seems like just a few days ago that I watched the first twenty Presidential hopefuls (or was it more?) fill the stage with their boring, new suits and their desperate need to be seen and heard.

Last time, I taped all six hours; determined to be involved in deciding the future of our country, and wanting to make sure that I was good and ready for when I stepped behind the dark blue curtain at the local polling booth next year. But, four minutes in, I found myself staring at a tall man, vaguely aware that he was speaking, but had no idea what he was saying, or who he was. If you had put him in a line-up shortly afterwards, I couldn't have identified him or remembered what he said. Yes, it was that bad.

So, I paused the debate, grabbed a drawer from my kitchen, and tipped it out onto the coffee table. As I sifted through the contents, I began to watch the debate again. Random thoughts about why I had three sets of measuring cups (doesn't everyone who bakes?) combined with amusement at some of the answers on stage, and the not-so-subtle "dog and pony" show that had them all trotting out together, on their best behavior, but still wanting to be the shiniest star.

I have to confess, even with my decluttering distraction, I still couldn't quite watch all six hours of the debates. But I watched most of it, and in just two short nights I was able to contemplate our future and organize all my kitchen and living room drawers.

So, if like me, you're kind of dreading this Thursday night, but you also can't quite stop yourself from staring at the screen, just grab a glass of wine, empty out some overstuffed drawers from the kitchen, and enjoy some good, old-fashioned decluttering with your debate...

Life at the Kitchen Sink

A couple of weeks ago, we went to the state fair and my daughter won a goldfish. Well, she actually won two, but one, unfortunately, didn't make it through the night, so the hopes for the second one were less than optimistic. Still, we found him a bowl, popped a plastic tree in it, and started to feed him.

With his future uncertain, we kept him on our kitchen counter, not wanting to make space in another room, or even give him a name for that matter. Quite awful when you think of it, but his first few days we could barely even tell if he was alive or not - sometimes, he slowly floated around the bottom, and other times he would struggle up to the top, peek through the surface, take a gulp of air, then take an unenthusiastic swim as he spiraled slowly around the bowl.

As the week went on, I moved him to the side of my tea kettle - he was taking up too much counter space, but we wanted to keep an eye on him, and it was an easy reminder to feed him (again, laziness on our behalf had not prompted us to make much effort to make him a permanent fixture in our home). We fed him as we passed by, did the dishes or made a cup of tea, and were encouraged by the fact that he seemed to be moving more (and, quite frankly, had escaped the dreaded toilet flush of so many before him).

Then, one day, as I made my morning cup of tea, I noticed him swimming frantically around the bowl, darting back and forth. I fed him a flew flakes, he ate them, calmed down, and I went into the sunroom to drink my tea. Sadly, as I continued about my day, I assumed he was on his last fish legs, and made plans to pick some hydrangea blooms to put in the bowl when he was done.  

Later on, as I puttered around the kitchen (dreaming of hydrangeas and what I would do with my extra counter space) the fish-frenzy happened again, and I wondered if it was my imagination, or if he had actually seen me and was hoping to be fed again. In a very childish move, I hid behind the corner and watched in fascination as he quickly slowed down and went back to his repetitive, leisurely exploration of his glass home. I waited a few moments, then went to the counter to make my lunch. The frantic swimming resumed, and I realized that not only was he feeling better, but he had turned into a greedy little goldfish, responding to people and expecting food whenever he saw one of us nearby.

Days turned into weeks, and we became used to having an orange fish living on the counter. It really was an inconvenience at first (especially with such a tiny kitchen) but I moved the tea kettle and toaster over, and decided that he had gradually become a very small, but welcome (and amusing) part of our home....

(p.s. "Cat" the goldfish is still alive and well, living next to the tea kettle on our kitchen counter...).

Holding on to Mother's Day...

Fourteen years ago, my daughter and I started celebrating Mother's Day by ourselves. With an emotionally chaotic home life, and a daily uncertainty about where our journey was taking us, that one Sunday in May became the most comforting day of the year for me.

It would begin with total indulgence (usually crepes with treacle syrup and endless cups of tea) then move on to a day of television, lots of talking, and all kinds of delicious food. We would prepare for days in advance, with my daughter writing down her wish-list, and both of us looking forward to blocking out the world for one, blissful day of peace and quiet.

No upsetting phone calls or heart-stopping letters in the mail, just she and I indulging ourselves in the simplicity of being mother and daughter. We would cook together, play board games, stay in pajamas, and anything else that had made it onto my daughter's carefully folded piece of red construction paper.

She was only 5 when we began to do this, and it instantly became our new, family tradition; it was the one that we looked forward to each year, and friends and family knew that we wouldn't answer the telephone or leave our house on that day. It was just meant to be for us.

It reminded us of what was good in the world, the importance of family, and that as long as we had each other we would be okay. For me, it was also a day of comfort - a day of self-care, and a reminder that we really all just want (and need) the same, simple things in life - we want to feel loved, and we need other people to love and care for us.

As the years went on, we never once wavered in our tradition, and absolutely no-one was ever allowed to share our special day together. Until this year...
A new love, and his family, were welcomed into our home this past Mother's Day. With barely a hesitation, we invited them in, and had a wonderful day filled with food, lots of talk. and a cozy fire in our living room.

No longer feeling the need to cling to each other, holding onto the emotional security of our annual Sunday, I realized that we (I?) had quietly stopped being afraid of what we might lose, and had begun to celebrate all that we had been given ...

A Winter Closet Makeover

Hi! I hope you're all doing well and have had a wonderful summer! Not quite sure how it went so quickly, but it was a good one, filled with lots of happy days and peaceful nights.

As many of you know, I am always reluctant to change when the weather does - yes, I love seeing the colors change on the leaves and feeling the cool air at night when I sleep, but the concept of  swapping out my clothes and adding coats and scarves still escapes me. Maybe it's because I grew up in a more moderate climate, maybe it's just silly stubbornness or a case of the lazies - not sure which, but it's a bugger when you go outside and realize that a cute t-shirt is no longer enough and your bare toes are cringing as they touch the cold ground.

This last week had me scrambling for a sweater and wondering why on earth I only had one pair of jeans. It was chilly, but the days beautiful and the night sky as clear as something out of a storybook. That single, cold day led to a chaotic evening as I decided to clean out my closet and scrambled to swap out my summer skirts and make room for sweater dresses and my beloved boots.

For many things in design, it has to be a process. You need to think about the outcome, plan your time accordingly and just know it is going to take longer than you ever thought. But when it comes to my clothes, all the nice organizing ideas in the world go out the window and it becomes a lesson in necessity and speed.

Being short on storage means I don't have the luxury of days spent sorting them into piles and trying every single thing on, but it does mean that I am very motivated :-) And, I have to be resourceful - my bed becomes my sorting center and my tiny closet kindly expands to absorb as much as it possibly can. The only other thing I have is a small dresser and a few drawers under my bed that store my off-season clothes. It's not fancy, but it works (and it helps to curb my e-bay buying habit because space is so limited and precious).

Because I am always short on time lately, I just had a few hours to get it all done, so here's what I did.

• Turned the music on (Funky 70's Pandora station). 
• Dressed in an old t-shirt and leggings.
• All my summer stuff was taken out of the drawers and closet then put in a big pile on the bed. 
• My winter clothes were pulled out of the drawers and put in another big pile. 
• I sorted the winter clothes into two piles - "love-can't wait to wear it" and "meh".
• The "love-can't wait to wear it" pile got sorted into sweater dresses, sweaters and long-sleeved thingys. All of which went into my drawers (the sweater dresses can be rolled up).
• The "meh" pile went on my office floor. I later tried things on and donated most of it.
• The summer clothes that had nowhere to go and needed to stay in the closet went to the far left and the winter clothes that had to go in the closet went in the center and right hand side (sectioned by blouses, long-sleeved, fancy, date-night etc).
• The other summer clothes (t-shirts, dresses etc) went into the drawers under my bed. 
• Leggings, jeans and skirts stayed in my dresser, with the summer ones underneath the winter ones. 

Within three hours, I was happily tired, and both me and my tiny closet were ready for cooler days and excited for lots of wonderful, boot-wearing weather! 

One plus One equals Three

When I got divorced, it was rare. I remember writing letters to my daughter's teacher's to tell them about it; making sure that she was okay and constantly checking for signs that she might need help - wanting to make sure that her life stayed as normal as possible amid the turmoil.

I spent years cleaning up the messes that it caused, reassuring the people that we loved, and spending a lot of time apologizing for the disruption that it brought into other people's lives. I was determined to not throw any shade and make sure everyone, including us, was okay.

But divorce is never kind. It takes a while to move through it, and one of the things I learned was that my home truly was my anchor. That role couldn't be filled by another person or my child, but it could be filled by the warm place where I curled up to sleep and dream at the end of the day. Because that was all I could control. And it was easy.

Years later, my home is still my perpetual safety net, and I often wonder why others don't do the same thing. With divorce more common than ever, families are blending into all sorts of unusual concoctions. Some are brilliant, and they work like a dream - the family tree being a hilarious mess of people, all intertwined in a bizarre melting pot that seamlessly bends and wraps around each other. Others are complicated, and, at their worst, sad and uncomfortable, but whichever you have there has to be a blending of homes and people.

I always thought that blending homes meant a compromise of possessions. A grown-up game of sharing and giving in to the others quirks; an endless array of joint shopping experiences that ended with a bland, classical pallet that provoked neither love nor hate, just a shrug and an acceptance that this was how it was meant to be.

Now, I don't believe this. I think when we join homes with someone new, our homes should still give us joy, and they should still be an anchor. We should be able to keep what we love, and accept what the other person has, with some serious editing thrown in for good measure. In a way, one plus one equals three - yours, mine and ours.

Why should both have to give up what they have, and lose what they love so dearly, to make someone else happy in the grown-up game of compromise? It goes against the whole theory of your home being your haven, and whereas I think compromise should happen in other ways, more emotional ways, your stuff and all your funny idiosyncrasies, should be allowed to remain your own.

So, how do you do it? How do you merge two homes into one?

• You each take what you absolutely love, and you make it work. It's like the most fabulous design job in the world - everything goes in the middle of the room, and you just move things around, and decorate until you're all exhausted. 
• Create your own rooms (or pockets of spaces if you have to) where you promise not to mess with what the other one has.  
• Ask first. Don't assume you can organize it for them, or that you can make it look "better". 
• Choose and buy a few new things together. Items that have no attachment to previous lives or ex people. 
• If it matters, talk about it. If it doesn't, don't.  
• Find out what is important to the other person, and why. This helps you understand why they're keeping it, even if you don't agree with the "why".
• Talk about it outside of the house, not when you're both looking at the space and items in question. It's hard to be objective when you're in the middle of it all - go for coffee or lunch, to chat about it before you start. 
• Try to keep a sense of humor about it all. If things get tense, try to look at the funny side of it, and, if necessary, always poke fun at yourself rather than the other person. 
• Remember, at the end of the day, creating a "home" is always more important than the stuff we choose to have in it :-) 

A Day in the Life of a Mom

I wrote this poem six years ago. More of a journal than a poem, it was remembering a time when my daughter was quite young, and someone asked me what I did all day. At first, I couldn't answer them, because being a mom isn't a defined job description with rules and timelines; it's a chaotic juggle of unexpected moments where there is lots of wonderful advice, but no right answer, often just reactions and a determination to get things done. 

So, at the end of a particularly long day, I decided to write about it, and that's where this poem came from. I know that many of you have read it before but it is still very close to my heart, and I wanted to share it with you again.

Now, my daughter is almost out of her teens, and I can say that being a mother is still a crazy and wonderful experience, which I wouldn't trade for all the butter pecan ice cream in the world. It has taught me to love and appreciate the quiet, beautiful moments, to laugh as often as possible, and to always let people, especially our children, be exactly who they are, not who we feel they should be. 

Wishing you all lots of love and a very Happy Mother's Day.                                                                                                                                

                                                                                   - Wendy 

If you give a Mom a minute, 

she'll want a cup of tea and a magazine.

Reaches for her favorite mug,

but starts to unload the dishwasher instead.

While putting away the dishes,

she rearranges the cupboards.

Decides to put some dishes aside for a garage sale.

Calls her friend for advice,

but forgets to ask about garage sales.

Goes to the toilet, and notices the shower is dirty.

Sprays and scrubs the shower stall,

while she reorganizes the body scrubs and shampoos.

Throws away expired medicines,

and cleans the bathroom cabinet.

This reminds her to call the Doctor for a check up.

On the way downstairs to get the telephone number,

she notices the floor needs vacuuming.

Gets the vacuum cleaner,

and sees all of her handbags hanging on the hooks.

Distracted, she starts to look inside them.

Throws out a a pile of old lists,

seventeen hair ties and a melted lollipop.

A dirty cigarette packet,

but knows she doesn't smoke.

Puzzled, and embarrassed,

she remembers picking it up off the lawn months ago.

Thoughts of smoky handbags remind her to do the laundry,

and she forgets to call the Doctor.

As the laundry spins,

she begins to tidy the cellar.

Makes another pile of things for the garage sale,

wondering why on earth she wanted to do one in the first place.

The laundry done, she hears a drip,

but decides to ignore it.

Folds the laundry, opens the mail,

and fills the tea kettle with water.

As she waits for it to boil,

she absentmindedly wonders why the water is still running.

Perhaps the washing machine has turned back on,

or maybe it is starting to rain.

A lot.

She hears more noises in the cellar.

The cat is crying, and the phone is starting to ring.

So she just stops listening.

Her child is sick, at school,

and must be picked up immediately,

if not sooner.

Before she hangs up,

she is sweetly reminded that tomorrow she has to bring seven dozen sunflower yellow, frosted cupcakes to school.

473 dark blue napkins, 8 dozen bottles of water and 84 handwritten name tags.

In black ink, not blue or red.

Tomorrow. By 7:30am.

It's Children Appreciation Day.

Oh, and don't forget -

no gluten, no sugar, no peanuts, no dairy, no food coloring, and absolutely no mushrooms.

She drives to the school,

brings her child home, and puts her to bed.

With a bucket.

Which reminds her of water, and the crying cat.

Marooned on a shelf,

she finds him calmly watching as the water laps slowly, almost poetically, against the side of her new washing machine.

With the cat rescued and her daughter asleep, she turns off the water and fixes the burst pipe herself.

The Plumber can wait. 

She fills the tea kettle with water, 

finds her favorite cup,

drops the teabag in,

grabs a magazine,

smiles to herself

.....and finally takes that minute.

Written by Wendy E. Wrzos (Copyright 2012). The photograph is of my daughter, after she had baked her first batch of Butterfly Cakes, and the poem was inspired by Laura Numeroff's wonderful books for children.

Best Laid Plans

Some days don't always go as planned. I admit, I have been a bit neglectful (okay, a lot neglectful) with some parts of my life lately, but it's all good stuff, and I just know that one day it will all balance out and it will fit perfectly into the spaces where it is meant to be.

Anyway, this one particular morning, a few weeks ago, I was really looking forward to catching up with two of my dearest friends - one in the morning for coffee, and one in the afternoon for a cup of tea. It was important, and I couldn't wait to get in the house, take a shower and get my day going.

So, I arrived home early in the morning, turned the key in the lock....and it wouldn't open. It has been a little temperamental of late, so I wasn't concerned at all. Usually a few jiggles does the trick. I could hear the deadbolt click back and forth so I knew that it just needed a bit of coaxing to let me in. Meanwhile, my dog is crying on the other side; waiting for a quick pat on the head, a run outside and his cup of breakfast food. So, I try it over and over - almost convincing myself that perhaps overnight I had forgotten how to open my own front door, but it wouldn't budge.

Not wanting to give up, I went to the garage and grabbed a hammer and a screwdriver, sure I could just pop the lock. Surprisingly, that didn't work, and neither did throwing myself against the door like a raving lunatic. Not to be daunted, I grabbed the hammer and slowly waded through the thigh-high snow to the back door (hard to believe, but we had over two feet of snow quite recently). My thoughts of prying open the door, or climbing through a window, quickly became laughable as I realized my house was locked up tight and I wasn't about to squeeze my very ample bottom through a window any time soon.

Fortunately, a call to the local locksmith had him out in an hour, everything was replaced in record time, and I could happily get on with my day. But, a week of barely being home meant that my house did not look very clean and welcoming on that cold, Spring morning. It looked dusty, and, once again, there was that neglected word dancing around in my head, laughing and teasing me with its free-spirited taunting.

But, there was no time to clean. I literally pulled a brush through my hair, put on lip-gloss and left the house again. Several hours later I arrived home ten minutes before my friend arrived, and this is what I did in ten minutes.

• Opened up the windows to freshen everything up.
• Grabbed everything off the kitchen table, wiped it down and tipped my glass of water into a nearby plant.
• Moved the few dishes from the sink to the dishwasher.
• Checked the toilet was clean and wiped the counter with a wet glob of toilet paper.
• Turned the tea kettle on, grabbed some clean cloth napkins and put a couple of chocolate biscuits on a pretty plate. 

Y'see, cleaning up doesn't have to be an all or nothing gig - a little something is always better than a whole lot of nothing :-)

Things to Do!

So, after last month's blog, I got a few requests for some decorating ideas - quick things that people can do to cheer up their home (especially during these drab, Winter months) without spending a lot of time or money.
For this week, no-one wants me to wander down some random path of thoughts, pontificating about something abstract that takes too long to read. And, honestly, I love that! I love it when reader's (and friends) tell me what they want me to write about, and when they share their thoughts and ideas with me.
Please never hesitate to make suggestions, or ask me to write about your favorite dilemma or topic. But, until I hear from you, here's a quick list of some things that you can do.
Wishing you the happiest of years!
With love and a hug,
- Wendy

A Girl and her Car

Some days, I can't write about decorating ideas, but my head is still filled with observations of life, and the most infinitesimal, yet joyful thoughts that happen inside us every single day. Here is one of mine.

I was in the car dealership earlier this year, waiting to get my car checked, when I noticed that someone had left a newspaper on the chair next to me, and the magazines (all about automobiles and sports, not a feminine thing to be seen) were scrunched in an almost impossible pile of paper mess on the table. The guy before me had also left his empty, paper coffee cup there; pretending to ignore the garbage can a few feet away, as he rushed off to his haircut appointment (he actually told me he was in a hurry to get his oil changed because he had a haircut appointment, which made me smile).

After a few minutes, I was the only one there, and I tried not to look at the mess laid out in front of me. I watched the morning show on the television, and pretended to be really interested in what percentage of people showered every day, and how John Cena had proposed to his girlfriend last night during a wrestling match, but I still couldn't stop looking at the pile of papers.

Eventually, I thought that if I grabbed one of the magazines, I could accidentally straighten the pile in the process; who the heck accidentally straightens a pile? Me. So, I picked up a magazine and casually straightened the first pile at the same time (so nervous in my self-perceived, organizing insanity, that my bottom almost missed the chair when I hastily went to sit down again).

My eyes went back to the television, as I wondered what type of coffee had been in the cup, and how long it would sit there before someone tidied it up. I thought of bringing some magazines from home, for the women to read while they waited for their own cars to be fixed, and if I should offer to answer the phone as I heard it ring endlessly then go to voice mail.
I sat there, wanting to help and wanting to clean up (first impressions and all that) until I heard fast heavy footsteps behind me. While I was lost in my thoughts, the mechanic had flung open the door, and was now sitting down next to me. And he was calling me "Ma'am". He was barely a few years older than me, and I had just been "Ma'am"ed.

My thoughts turned to the extra ten pounds I had put on, the frumpy skirt I was wearing, and the fact that I hadn't slept more than a couple of hours last night, and I suddenly felt every inch a "Ma'am". Feeling as if I had just aged a decade in just a few seconds, I said a polite thank you and paid the bill.

As I sadly walked to the door, I looked back up at John Cena on the television, beaming broadly at his new fiancee; the Ma'am comment had stung a little, but I realized in that moment that they were just words, and they hadn't actually changed me into someone else. I was still me.
So, I flipped my hair back, turned myself around, straightened the mess on the table, threw the coffee cup into the bin, and smiled at the man behind the counter as I waved him a cheerful goodbye.

p.s. Thank you to John Cena and Twiggy for being so original, and inspiring me to be the same. 

Claim Your Space

There are a lot of times in our life when we're told to "fake it until you make it". I always thought that sounded silly and insincere, until I actually started to try it and began to realize that we can (and do) control our thoughts, which can in turn change how we look at life. But one of the most surprising ways to fake it, is when we are feeling unsettled in our homes.

I was contacted once by someone who told me she had just moved into her new home, and didn't feel that it was comfortable or visitor-worthy. As we talked, I was shocked to learn that she had actually lived there for two years, even though, to her, it felt like she had just moved in. She emailed me photographs, which showed me a house that was so chaotic that it tore at my heart. I couldn't imagine coming home to that type of environment, and I couldn't wait for our first appointment.

It is a couple of years later, and now that we are friends, I asked her if I could write about her experience. I promised to get her full approval before I published anything, and she generously agreed. You see, whether we have just moved in to our home, or feel like we have, it is still our home. If we treat it as if it is our most precious possession, it will nurture us, and be a safe haven for us to begin and end every day, because after all, isn't that what everyone wants? A safe, comfortable place to begin and end every day?

So, with that in mind, and the blessing of my design friend, here are some thoughts on what you can do if your home is feeling a little unsettled.

Deal With The Boxes
Whether you can get rid of them completely, or just stack them all in a single room, don't have random, unpacked boxes filling odd corners all over the house. Eventually, they just become an unattractive and unnecessary part of the scenery; they blend into your decorations like an old enemy that you haven't had the courage to unfriend - not hated, but not serving any purpose, and definitely not welcome or pleasant to look at.

Buy A LampCeiling lights have their uses, but all the dimmers in the world won't ever give you the warm, cozy feeling that you are looking for. Buy a lamp or two and put them on a table, or stand them next to your favorite chair. The shadows create interest, and the pockets of light draw you into the space of their glow.

Cook A Meal
Whether you can cook or not, taking time to prepare something for yourself is a caring thing to do. It forces you to slow down a bit, see your kitchen in a different way, and lose yourself in making something delicious. Try to avoid something that requires the microwave - use a pan just to heat soup if you need to, or make the best grilled cheese sandwich ever. Sit down and eat it on a real plate if you can.

Enjoy Where You Are

I know this can be easier said than done, but if this is where you are, then you have to make the best of it. This goes back to the fake-it-till-you-make-it comment, but refusing to settle in and enjoy your home because you are waiting or saving for something better isn't a good strategy. Because what if you never move, or your personal circumstances change when you least expect them to? Delaying happiness is never, ever a good idea, and a great place to begin is by loving your home right this minute, and claiming your space.

p.s. As for my design friend?  I am happy to say that she never moved out of her home, but she did move all of those boxes. 

Use It or Lose It

I never quite understood the use it or lose it expression until I went to do a cartwheel last year in the garden. Overcome by a memory of whom I used to be, and feeling the need to make use of the wonderful, green space that welcomes me home every day, I ran across the grass, leaped into the air (or so I imagined) and fell flat on my face. I thought I had a concussion and broken both my arms, so I lay there wondering whether to laugh or burst into tears.

As I imagined how I would look when the ambulance men found me, I pulled myself up and sat on the grass. I had dirt on my face, and both my wrists hurt. I had lost it. Years of neglecting to do a cartwheel meant that I had forgotten how to do it, and my body was definitely having the last laugh.

Homes are a little similar. If we don't use a room or a thing, it starts to feel out of place, and when we eventually do want it back, it can be uncomfortable until we get past the discovery phase again.

I see this all the time in formal Living and Dining Rooms. Many people don't use them because we have become more casual, and they feel uncomfortable and stale, when really they just need a bit of attention. They need to be used and celebrated.

Dust them off and put some fresh flowers in there. Sit in it a while. Eat your breakfast at your too-fancy dining table or have a donut on your very-posh sofa. Put your feet up on it and wiggle down into the cushions. Rearrange it a bit and look up at the ceiling. Appreciate it, and apologize. Be sorry that you didn't use it for so long. Cheer it up by opening the curtains and straightening up the pile of junk that has been lying there for six months. Think how lucky you are to have it then promise to use it more often. Let the kids do their craft projects in there. Don't pitch a fit if the dog jumps up on your custom-made sofa. Drink a glass of wine and eat a slice of pizza in your pajamas. Put a pile of magazines on the side table. Change the photographs in your picture frames. Dust off the brown, crunchy dried flowers (or better yet, throw them away). 

We are so fortunate to have these homes, and to have an extra space is a luxury. Why not live in it, use it...... and then you won't ever have to worry about losing it.

No to Art. Yes to Purple

She opened the door, threw her arms in the air, and said, "Here it is, don't make me put anything on the walls. I hate art!". 

It was a funny beginning, but as we started to talk I realized that her objections were to classic paintings; formal pieces that were carefully chosen to be a very deliberate, status statement - one's that she remembered as not being very cheerful to be around and could be unreasonably expensive to boot. 

After the appointment, I started to think about what art meant to me, and I have to say that my interpretation is so loose that I am sure I would be kicked out of most academic discussions. In my mind, there is art everywhere we look. From where I am typing right now, I am surrounded by art - the endless shapes and colors of the fallen leaves, the jagged silhouette of the trees against the blue sky, and the worn-down coloring pencils crookedly sitting in my favorite cup. They are all small pieces of art because they are beautiful to me. So, when we're decorating a home, I always think the lines were meant to be blurred, and anything we consider beautiful can (and should) be considered art. 

My theory has always been, if I love it, and I can hang it on the wall, then it is art. From an old wooden air-vent to a child's stick-figure drawing, as long as it gives us joy, we can decorate with it. It's like if you want something above a sofa, why do you have to search high and low for the perfect painting that "goes"? Why can't you take your baby daughter's hand-print, enlarge it to ridiculous proportions, and have it matted and framed in a simple, yet gorgeous black frame? 

Of course, if you find the perfect painting it's a wonderful thing, but if you don't, then why not change what your definition of art is, and put that on the wall instead. 

But, all of this belated, romantic theorizing didn't help my client when we met for that first appointment. The truth was, that she said she hated art, and she just didn't want any of it on her wall. She had invited me over because the room felt cold and unwelcoming. Still living with the white that the contractor had chosen, we talked about how she wanted the room to feel, and what she needed for it to be comfortable. Labelling herself as a minimalist, I could see that she wasn't going to let me put a single nail in the wall, but we had to cozy up the room somehow. 

As we settled into our second cup of coffee, she surprised me by bringing out a scrapbook of decorating ideas. She wanted me to see what she liked, rather than just what was there in front of me in her home. You could have knocked me down with a feather. The rooms she showed me were rich with color, filled with a dark, moody elegance that in no way reflected my client or the room that we were sitting in. 

I cannot tell you the excitement that started to build as she turned each of the pages. With each turn, she started to talk more and more about what we were looking at, and why she had pulled the pictures. She spoke for a good half hour while I stayed quite silent (which, for those who know me is not quite normal). 

When we had finished, I just looked at her and said, "Let's paint the walls dark purple!". The purple would be the warm background, and the shapes and color of her furniture would become the art. It was so obvious what we needed to, and she didn't hesitate. Within a week, the painter had arrived, and her room was complete. 

It was the perfect compromise. The room could remain minimal and clutter free, but it gave her a very elegant and cozy, designed space. Now, almost a year later, she still writes me emails telling me how much she loves her art.

p.s. The photograph above isn't her home, but it is the color that we used. We used Shadow (2117-30) by Benjamin Moore. 

Ideas for decorating with a very dark color.
Have large, open windows. A dark colored room needs plenty of natural light. 
Keep drapes and curtains light and breezy. Avoid heavy fabrics.
Brighten up the floor with something colorful and cheerful. Don't match the colors to your walls.
Make it modern. It can be tempting to go a bit Gothic with the rest of your colors and design, but be careful not to go too dark and moody. Add modern accessories and clean, fresh shapes and colors to bring balance to the space. 

A Little Overdue

Joyful and overwhelmed. I never quite knew it was possible to be both at the same time, but here I am. Behind with my blog, missing coffee breaks with my friends, and sitting at a laptop with my cell on one side and my house phone on the other side. A funny predicament for a technophobe.

So, it has been a little while since I blogged, and I wondered if I needed to explain myself to those who read it. Of course, I don't have to, but I want to. Just because. Because this blog is such a large part of who I am, and is still one of the dearest gifts I was ever given. And because Stephanie's mom was starting to ask if I was okay.

Y'see, I am okay. I have just begun doing some extra freelance, writing work, which I absolutely love, but the last month has just been more than I anticipated. More creative than I expected - which is great, and I am working with a truly, lovely bunch of people. Couldn't ask for anything better. And busier than usual (good grief, I hate to use that word) as my daughter and I navigated the preparing-to-go-to-college malarkey. It wasn't complicated, it was just a lot. And a wee bit scattered.

With my daughter off to college, the freelance work fits perfectly into the newly opened gaps. But for the first time in a very long while, I am having to learn to balance my life all over again.

Normally, I adjust pretty easily - I might wobble around for a minute, but I right myself back into position, and move forward.This time, not so much. I naively thought that there would be no adjustment, but being a mom and juggling two creative jobs became a bit of a challenge.
So, I found myself doing the only thing I knew how to do. Just going with it. I stopped trying to fit everything into my neat and organized idea of what I thought it should be. I had to believe that if I did the best I could, then it would all sort itself out. And it has. The fact that I am even writing this brings me so much happiness (and a welcome sigh of relief). Y'see, things always change. And as scary as change can be, it will happen again and again, often when you least expect it.

A friend once told me that it's better to be a cork than a rock in the river of life. She was right. Digging our heels in and protesting doesn't help anyone. It's exhausting fighting against the current. So every now and then we have to remind ourselves how to float.
We have to enjoy the delicious freedom of not knowing where we are going. We have to close our eyes, ignore the bossy voices, and allow ourselves to drift into the direction of wherever it is we need to be.

When the days feel too long, it's okay to put our pajamas on at 6:30 pm. Not that I have done that yet, but I have dreamt about it. I have lovingly, carefully, made my bed in the morning. As I smooth the sheets down, I may even have fallen on top of their coolness for a few seconds, as I imagine the sheer bliss of turning them back over and climbing into the soft, warm comfort of bedtime.
Because it's okay to dream of bedtime. It's okay to wonder what the heck we are doing. It's okay not to have a five day plan, never mind a five year plan. It's okay to eat a slice of smoked Gouda for dinner (standing at the open fridge) because you're too tired to cook.It's okay to just be who you are at this exact moment.

So, if you're still reading, you might be wondering what this all has to do with design. I guess it doesn't directly, but in many ways it could. Homes, like people, are happiest when they are allowed to develop at their own pace - slowly and organically. Transitional times can be uncomfortable and awkward. But, it's really just a way of preparing us for the next step. If there is a change in the air, or life is feeling a little bit complicated, maybe it's also time for you to let go of something for a little while. Do only what is important right this very minute .... and remember how beautiful it is to just float.

p.s. Thank you for reading - the blog will be back to normal next week :-)

Sharing the Bedroom

Toby shares the bedroom with me. A kind and lovable, vertically-challenged German shepherd, who doesn't mind how I decorate, as long as the air conditioning is on, we go to bed by 11, and I stay quietly on my tiny edge of the bed. But others aren't so lucky (?) Many people I know have to share their bedroom with another human - one who speaks and has an opinion, and might even care (a lot) about the number of threads they can count on their sheets.

So, how does this work? Do we really need to compromise in the bedroom? I think we do. I was struck this last week by several couples who had decorated their bedrooms as if they weren't sharing it at all. The one who had decorated it firmly believed that the opinion of the other person who they slept with wasn't important. I have to say that it was mostly women - they assured me that their husbands didn't care, and several of them even said that their partner had no taste, so why on earth would they even consider letting them be involved in any of the decorating and design decisions?

But taste is really subjective, and I strongly believe that if we're sharing a space, then it should reflect who we both are, and, at the very least we should ask what our partner does (and doesn't) like before we steamroller ahead. Even if they say they don't care, then shouldn't we still choose to care enough about them?

The bedroom is one of the most important places in our home - it's where we are all supposed to recharge and relax at the end of the day. It should be a peaceful and welcoming space for everyone who steps inside.
The benefits of sharing our ideas is kind of obvious - if someone feels comfortable in a space then they want to spend time there, and, if they can see that their taste and opinion really does matter, then that makes them feel cared for. Both of which makes for a much happier relationship (both in and out of the bedroom, of course).

5 Dorm Room Essentials

'Tis the season, and if you have a college-bound teenager then you just might be in the middle of your very own personal hell - surrounded by a peripheral madness that you are trying really hard to resist, every email and letter that you receive pushes your anxiety to new heights, and you wonder what on earth this experience is supposed to be about anyway.
Of course you don't want them to go, but why are they suddenly telling you that your child must have a printer and a matching pair of salt and pepper shaker's? Oh, and you must send her a welcome kit of candy, delivered straight to her room - with a sweet reminder that if you don't, she will be the only candy-less, unloved child on the entire campus....

So, with all these thoughts floating around in your head (not mine, of course) I thought I would give you five of my favorite dorm room essentials. They won't rescue you from the madness, but all are readily available, all are infinitely useful, and nothing is over thirty dollars.

Bed Lifts are not the most glamorous thing on the planet,
 but they will give your messy teen an extra 6 - 7 inches of space under their bed (and, it makes it feel less like a twin bed). The new ones even come with an AC outlet and USB charger. For less than $30, it will help them be more organized, or at the very least they can just grab some storage bins and stash everything under the bed when you go to visit them. 

This seems odd, and I absolutely trust all the little darlings who will be attending college, but a space to hide something is not such a bad idea. Something unexpected, like a hidden drawer, an old book, or even a pair of funny toe socks, is not as obvious as a dorm room safety box, and may come in useful now and again. This one is from Amazon, and is about ten dollars.

Another cheapie - this isn't really glass, but it does just what you need it to.
Available at almost every inexpensive, large retail store, it needs no installation, and just hooks over the back of a door. As well as needing them to look into, a mirror makes the room seem a bit brighter, which can be a necessity in some of those dark, crowded, Vitamin-D deficient  dorm rooms.   

Clear, hanging shoe pockets are not just for shoes.
If they can fit it in there, that's what they can use it for. From toiletries to underwear and gadget chargers, these are indispensable for every type of student. They're extremely durable (and even washable, if they need to be). Yes, the fabric one's are cute, but the clear pockets are so much more practical. 

Forget the fancy bath buddy's and cute shampoo organizers, 

a shower container has to be waterproof, durable, drainable and easy to carry. Do you really think they are going to stand and put everything back in the right spot, and leave the mesh out to dry for three days to avoid the mold? No. Keep it simple with these adorable, colorful, tough $3.99 totes (which would also be great for holding so many other things).  

Shoo Fly! Shoo!

As a rogue fly whizzes around our house, I quickly run downstairs to find my old-fashioned, umbrella food tent to protect the cake that I had just pulled from the oven. Eternally squeamish about flies (thanks, Mom) it is rare they get into our house, but when they do I won't rest until they are either outside again (or very obviously dead).

Not into using chemicals, I will chase them down with a can of hairspray, or grab a catalog to frantically (maniacally comical, perhaps) swat at them - well aware that I am amusing everybody except for myself.
Insects and flies (Are flies actually insects? Yes, I just checked) both fascinate and repulse most of us. Some people like to watch scary movies that involve them (Jeff Goldblum will always be my one and only favorite fly) but we don't want them in our homes, or casually landing on our freshly, unpacked ham and cheese sandwich.
So, with creepy crawlies on my mind, here are a few, non-deadly ways to keep them away from you this holiday weekend.

WASP CATCHER

A traditional, glass Wasp Catcher, filled with all sorts of concoctions, will lure flying insects into them, making it impossible for them to escape.
If you don't have one of these, you can quickly make your own with an empty, plastic soda bottle (instructions here).

 FOOD UMBRELLAS

So simple, yet so effective. With a bit of a retro vibe, 

mine were bought at a Fair many years ago (for about a dollar each).  

These adorable mesh umbrellas are still very inexpensive (usually less than five dollars), and are available on-line,
or at many nearby home and garden stores.

FANS

Most flying insects prefer it when the air is still, so a fan will keep them away for most of the afternoon. Install a permanent one on the inside ceiling of your porch (extra points if your ceiling is pale blue, as that is supposed to deter insects too) or grab your favorite one from inside, and point it towards your picnic table. 

PLANTS AND HERBS

There are many plants and herbs that are said to repel mosquitoes and flies. 

Citronella is the one we hear of the most
(usually found in candles) but you can also buy this,
and many other repelling plants, at your local garden center. 

 For best results, you may want more than one, so for a full list,
check out these plant ideas from Natural Living.

COFFEE GROUNDS, LEMON AND CHALK

Common garden ants are rarely more than a passing nuisance,

but if you don't want a small army of them invading your next outdoor party, 

there are a few precautions you can take. 

Although they often seem to be the Houdini's of the insect world, they are also easily deterred by the most harmless of ingredients. Try stopping them with a path of chalk, a squirt of lemon or one of these other unexpected household items.

 SHOOFLY PIE

It didn't seem right to finish this blog without a recipe for traditional Shoofly Pie, but there were so many recipes that I just chose the one that I have used in my own kitchen. The story of its name seems to vary, with some saying it was named after people yelling, "Shoo fly!", and others say that it was named after a type of molasses that was called Shoofly. 

Whatever the origin, it is simple and delicious

- in spite of its very unfortunate name.

Can You Really Do It Yourself?

We had the plumber over the other day to fix several leaky faucets, and when I called him on the telephone he barely remembered who I was. When he showed up on my doorstep, he said that he had assumed I had found another plumber, because it had been over four years since we had needed him.

As we chatted, he told me that some of his customers call him several times a year, and many of the visits could have been prevented. 

This got me thinking - what should we tackle ourselves, what should we know, and when is it time to bring in the professionals? 

PLUMBING
At the very least, we should all know how to turn off the main water valve for the house, and where the individual turn off valves are for each faucet. Why not ask your plumber to give you a tour next time he visits?

Unclogging a Toilet 
This is not fun at all, but if it's (how can I say this delicately?) an organic clog, then there are plenty of (easy) non-chemical ideas you can try before you call the plumber.  
Turn the water off behind the tank, open the window, put on your grungy clothes, boil some hot water (not for tea, for your toilet) then click here for some simple solutions. 

Leaky Faucet 
I will take the end bit off a faucet, but I won't dismantle an entire unit. 
No matter how many times they tell me to carefully line up the parts, and reassemble them in reverse order, I can never get it back together, but if it is a small, rubber washer inside the water spout end, I won't hesitate to twist that bit off, take it to the hardware store, and get a replacement.

Smelly Garbage Disposal 
I don't have one, but I know they need regular maintenance, and unless it's completely broken, you should always try these simple DIY solutions first. 

Clogged Kitchen Sink or Water Leaking under the Sink  
Usually, this is caused by gunk in the "U" bend under the sink.

• My first course of action is to tip some baking soda (a cup or so) into the drain and add a good measure of vinegar (2 - 3 cups of whatever you have handy - not balsamic) let it bubble, leave for about 20 minutes, then flush with scalding hot water. 
• If it's still clogged, grab a bucket (to catch whatever falls out) and a flashlight, and see if you can unscrew the curled bend under the sink and investigate what is in there (you might need gloves, or want to cover your hands in plastic bags). It's a simple mechanism, that may take you a few tries to get familiar with, but you can't mess this up. For more detailed information (with pictures) go here.  

ELECTRIC
Having an older home, means that I won't mess with the wiring on my own, but I have learned a couple of useful tricks from my electrician.

• Know where your circuit breaker is, and label it. Spend an hour or so with a friend, and have one of you turn the circuit breaker switches on and off, then label which room/area they belong to. If something goes wrong, you can check here first - turn the main on and off, and/or flick the switch on and off for the room that is giving you a problem. This is especially useful after a storm or power outage, when some don't reset themselves.
• Screw in your light bulbs tighter than you think. I had my electrician out several times in a month, only to find that I wasn't putting my light bulbs in tight enough (!). Crazy, right? But if they aren't making a full connection they might not work, or they could jiggle loose and blow the light. I was always afraid they would break, but that has never happened.

OTHER DIY that I think most of us can do

Laying peel and stick tiles on a kitchen or bathroom floor
This is not hard - they are easy to cut, and if you're considering this, then you probably have an old, yukky floor anyway. It's not permanent, so why not give it a try? 

Painting a small room 
If it's a bathroom, or a small bedroom, you can do it yourself, and it is the perfect place to be daring with your color choice. Allow yourself a weekend (you might not need it, but it's better not to be rushed). Grab painters tape, small brushes, a roller, lots of music, and maybe a bottle of wine.

Spackling holes in your walls or ceiling
This is easy-as. The hardest bit is often finding the paint to touch it up afterwards. Just spackle (I like the pink spackle that dries to white) smooth, let it dry, then paint. Less is always more - you can add more layers after each one dries. Sand if needed.

Re-caulk and grout tiles
Again, your attempt might not be as perfect as a professional's, but if it's a little touch up, then give it a go. By the way, I left mine for too long once, and the water started to leak through to the downstairs ceiling, so it's worth keeping up to date with repairs. Here's a video from Martha and Home Depot that explains how to do it.   

Gutter cleaning
This depends on your home (and how tall you are). I can do some of mine, but not all, and if you can fearlessly climb a ladder with a bucket, you could give it a try. No roof walking though. 

Fix squeaky doors and hinges
Before you buy new ones, try tightening the screws, loosening the pins and coating them with petroleum jelly (Vaseline). Most recommend using a spray lubricant, like WD 40, but that is really messy, and Vaseline works great (olive oil doesn't). 

Well, that's heaps for now, but I hope this gives you some new ideas before you reach for the phone and grab your checkbook.